Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the bird lay an egg on Stephen Hawkings?
Because he is Stephen HAWKings.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Aaron and Ben meet on Grindr. They have a drink and have sex. They wake up in the morning in bed. Aaron says, "I'm so glad I got it out." Ben replies, "What? Oh, just the HIV."
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
What do you call 8 x 3.14?
Octopi.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall and got unplugged.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
A girl comes home and finds her dad and 4-year-old brother on the sofa. She says, "Dad, why is he wearing that face mask?"
The dad buckles his belt and says, "There's more for you, hunny."
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?