Mosely in a white van.
Worst Jokes Ever
You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
I fucked your mum!
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the spoon."
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
My friends.
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
