Worst Jokes Ever
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
What's green and furry?
Fiona from Shrek.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes, but they all just crash and burn.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
Mr. Bunler.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A ffsshh.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"