What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Worst Jokes Ever
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
Electricity.
What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?
Obi-Wan Cannoli.
What’s big, red, and eats rocks?
A big, red, rock eater.
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a pedophile. However, I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8-year-olds.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
I'm straighter than a rainbow.
What is Ba + 2Na?
Ans. Banana.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?
His Boba Pet.
This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."
So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."
What happens when you say, "Hey Siri?"
Stephen Hawking answers.
What do you call snowmen having sex?
A snowjob.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how big they are and how hard you throw them.
Why did the chef flip a pancake? Because he was a tosser.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
Ya nan!