Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a retard?
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
- They see me rolling.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
Stephen Hawking forgot the WiFi password.
Your mom.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Where does Stephen Hawking get his computer fixed?
At PC World.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer?
When my computer crashes, I actually give a fuck.
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
I wrote "my pen is big," but forgot to space "pen is."
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
Why did Hitler say "nein"? Because he just got raped, bitch!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
"Is Mrs. Wall here?"
"No."
"Is Mr. Wall here?"
"No."
"Then what is holding up the walls?"