Worst Jokes Ever
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
After all these walkers, you still walk over me.
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
When Chuck Norris was asked, "Do you know the way?" he replied, "I am the way!"
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
Stephen Hawking lost connection to the WiFi.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!
Booooooooooooo!
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
He didn’t, there was no lift...!
How did Steven Hawkings die?
His wife tripped over his charging plug when he was at 2% battery.