Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What's better than a meme? A really good Vine.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What kinds of apples grow on trees?
All of them.
Why did Annie fall from the swing?
Because she had no hands.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Annie.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic?
"Where do you keep the cans of paint?"
What's 2 + 2? A: 22.
Dead people can’t cross the street because they're dead, ha ha!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
How did a man kill his car? He throttled it.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
Confucius say, "Man who sit in church and fart must sit in pew."
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair. The youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, "Honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine?" The wife says, "I swear to all that is holy, he is your son." Then the husband died and the wife muttered, "Thank god he didn't ask about the other three."
If you humped a whale, it would humpback.
"Florida was ranked the worst state in the 50 states by Thriller."
Florida: Well, WE didn't want to give our oranges anyway!