Worst Jokes Ever
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
My jokes are cancer.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What do you call a Navajo with a lot of cash?
Johnny Cash.
Sayo-nara.
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?
Robetoe.
Two persons were in a car. The brakes were broken and they were going so fast that they would crash and die.
The driver said: "Oh no! We will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied: "Don't panic, the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse replies, "My wife just died of cancer, and my alcohol addiction is tearing my family apart."
The bartender responds, saying "Oh" sympathetically. "Sucks to be you!" the bartender yells, throwing a bottle of wine at the horse.
Please don't kill [me].
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? "You're too young to smoke."
What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?
"Get off me, homes!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.