"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make a baby cry?
You punch it in the face.
A good bath is like a dead lover.
You can enjoy them, that is until they get too cold.
Let me tell you a pun. Never mind, it's tearable.
What do you call a fat chink?
Saturn.
Hi, Charlie, is your friend?
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.
A 98 year old man goes to bed on a one layer bed. He wakes up under it...
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
"-Hey dude, you got some beef? You want some beef from me?"
"- No thanks... I'm vegetarian!"
Why can’t blind people sing [if] that can’t hear because they can see the lyrics?
Muslim furries like goats.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.