Worst Jokes Ever

A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"

What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?

Her abortion.

Person: I'd really like it if you'd stop saying my name all the time.

Random Person: Cheesus! That hurt!

Person: SERIOUSLY!?!?

What do you call a rich white man? Cracker with Cheese!

If I called you gay, you would probably hit me with your purse.

So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

It didn't have the guts to do it.

What do you call a pool full of white people?

Kix.

So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.

Where do mathematicians go to die?

The symmetry.

What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?

Sandstorm.

What do you call a pen with no head?

DeCAPitated.

What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes.

I heard a joke about chocolate bars, and it wasn't that funny. So I just snickered.

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!

I used to have a fear of hurdles.

But I got over it.

Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.

Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.

Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?

Because it's ill-eagle.