What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
Worst Jokes Ever
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 was a registered *sex* offender.
Your face with my cum.
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
This is mean af. Y'all need to stop this. Like, what the f *ck? What would happen if you all grew up and you were like this? Like, damn.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
Justin Masotti