Worst Jokes Ever
When the grass is bloody, You play in the mud...
Congratulations to Avicii for passing his 3-day milestone of sobriety!
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
I saw Simba walking slowly.
I told him "Mufasa!"
Have you read "50 Yards to the Outhouse" by Willie Makeit and Probly Not?
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his carer lost his charger.
What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Poop.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack!
Myles Parfitt ;/
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.