Worst Jokes Ever
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).
What do you call a cool octopus?
Tenta-cool (tentacle)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Someone unplugged the router.
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
"Wheel" all miss him, right?
Wanna hear a joke?
Your outfit. Har har!
What's the best thing about f*cking twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost WiFi connection.
Phone rings; "Are your parents home?"
Orphan; "Stop calling here!"
I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.
They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
Person 1: "Hey, I created a new word!"
Person 2: "What is it?"
Person 1: "Plagiarism!"
Stephen Hawking died because he turned off his VPN.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A trash can in a baby.
Kid starts shooting people in school, teacher asks “why are you doing that”. He responds, “I wanted to paint the walls red for Christmas”
Yesterday, my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson, I said, "Just for that, you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen, she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try!"
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
How many Lowe’s could Rob Lowe rob if Rob Lowe could rob Lowe’s?