Worst Jokes Ever
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy, ‘Darling, how does my dick taste?’”
Ethan Rice
Why do Asians don’t wear contacts? Cause they can’t fitt.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
Fuck you, biiiiiitch!
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
A Ford?
How did the USA beat Japan in rapping?
By dropping two of the biggest roasts.
Yo mama is so ugly, she turned a knife into a statue.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
What did the tree say to the kid with a bike? "Take a hike!"
Two men were bartering over a marble slab. A lot of counter-offers were made.
What do you call someone with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
Stephen Hawking's family was cruel. He fell over and got told to man up and walk it off.
Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.
You want to hear a joke about pizza?
Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.