Worst Jokes Ever

Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?

A: He heard the snowblower coming.

Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?

I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."

There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.

1-2-..... and he left without a trace.

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"

Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.

People say that life is short.

I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.

What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?

Barack Obama.

Jake Adkins watches James Charles.

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?

Because he didn't want to see the bill.

My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.

Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.

What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.

What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.

The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.

Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.

Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.

The world's funniest joke? Your life.

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet you at the corner!

Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?

It took my sole.

Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)

What do you call a mouse that doesn't like being known about?

Anonymouse.

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

What do you call a drivable Hamburger?

What?

A Hamborgini.