What do you call a pile of cats? A MEOW-tain.
Worst Jokes Ever
What's black and at the top of a staircase?
Not Stephen Hawking.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
He died because of a fuck up by the Hospital. Apparently, the doctor said to the nurse, "You can discharge Mr. Hawking now," so she went to his room and pulled the plug out of his computer.
What is the best part of twenty-one year olds?
There's twenty of them.
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Who is Stephen Hawking?
I saw Stephen Hawking using an ATM. It is nice to see he had found someone before he shut down.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
Someone goes into a bar and asks for a blow job. The barman goes, "Me too." But then the guy goes, "I meant the drink."
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him when he came home drunk?
Nothing... she couldn't tell.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
For Stephen Hawking, why is being drunk and having his power shut out the same?
He blacks out.
He might have been a Fortnite player. Respect him.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.