What is worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.
What is worse still? It has to eat its way out.
What's worse than that? It went back for seconds.
Worst Jokes Ever
Dark humor is a lot like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Two boys were arguing in class one day when the teacher walked into the classroom.
The teacher asked them, "Why are you arguing?"
One of the boys replied, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie."
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher. "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
Surely people would consider putting pedals on wheelchairs so that their arms don't get tired.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
Same time next month?
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
Why should you stay away from trees? - Because they wanna be leafed alone.
A man is at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. A few years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: “What the hell was that all about?”