Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
My neighbor is like my marriage. They're both in the hole.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
I saw a person raping a woman in an alleyway. I decided to help...she doesn't stand a chance between us.
Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?
It hasn't come out yet.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
Many years of sex in the dark.
The wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick!"
The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch!"
A knife is like hallucinations, both in your head.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
Why can't orphans play catch?
Because they don't have parents to catch the ball.
What's red, white, and blue and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Stephen Hawking only went to hell because he couldn't get up the stairway to heaven.
Did you hear about the guy who made the knock-knock joke? I heard he got the Nobel Prize.
What do you call a person without a nose and who doesn't know much?
Nose-less.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
It depends on how hard you throw them.