Have you ever heard of the eye tear?
Me either.
Worst Jokes Ever
Your life? Wanna hear a sadder one?
My life.
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
If seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay?
Bagels.
"Jasmine is gay, now THAT is a joke."
Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?
Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.
Kevin McClean
Your mum gay, lol.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
I have eaten 6 babies, 9 adolescent children, and 2 infants in the past week ;p
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face as you climax.
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
Geology rocks!
Funny thing is, dead women can't say no...
What's the fastest cake? Scone!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
Lol.