Worst Jokes Ever
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
An Irishman walked past a bar.
I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Theodore.
Theodore who?
Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Terrible!
I’m working on a good pun, but it makes no one laugh.
Why?
I don’t have a clue.
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
Two TV antennas got married. The church ceremony was terrible, but the reception was fantastic!
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
What were Brian Cant's last words before he died?
"I used to do it, but now I cant!"
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.