What does a spy do when he's cold?
He goes under cover.
Worst Jokes Ever
A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"
The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
American: I've never shot a gun.
African: That's the first coming from an American!
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.
Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"
The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.
Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."
Stephen Hawking trying to climb the stairway to heaven.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
Who needs storage on a computer? Just use an Asian's brain.
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he wanted to.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.