Worst Jokes Ever
This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired!
What's worse than a pile of dead babies?
One at the bottom that's still alive.
What's worse than that?
It's forced to eat its way out.
What's even worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
I asked this disabled kid what his favorite TV show is. He looked at me blankly and said "My favorite TV show is Vegetales."
Q. Why can't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
A. He can't get his wheelchair up the stairs.
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
Why is the Champs d'Elysees in Paris lined with trees?
Because German soldiers like marching in the shade!
A mirror and a terrorist are the same... Only... a mirror doesn't need a gun to kill.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.