Worst Jokes Ever
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words?
Error.
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
What do you call a guy named Ben?
Answer: Ben
My sex life.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go metal detecting?
Because when it beeps, it's him!
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
After all these walkers, you still walk over me.
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
When Chuck Norris was asked, "Do you know the way?" he replied, "I am the way!"
I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...
Stephen Hawking lost connection to the WiFi.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favorite band? The Rolling Stones.
Josh: Tell me something funny.
Mark: My life.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.