Worst Jokes Ever

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"

Lachlan

I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.

What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.

I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.

Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?

My friend asked me:

Friend: "How much is your body worth?"

Me: "1 million."

Friend: "1 million dollars?!"

Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."

Friend: "Oh."

Why are elephants scared of computers?

Because of the mouse.

What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?

White Vans.

My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!

How do you get a clown off your swing?

You shoot it.

Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.

Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...

SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!

What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.

Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!

Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!

Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!