What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
Are guys scared of the word "Choppiness"?
Because it is literally saying "chop-penis."
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A ffsshh.
When your husband can’t afford a punching bag, he uses his wife.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
They don’t have to invest a lot into the Stephen Hawking wax statue, though.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
If Stephen Hawking had a heart attack, would he go to hospital or Curry's PC World?
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?
I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"
Cannibal (n.) Someone who is fed up with people.
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
What is white, black, and blue all at the same time?
Barack Obama.