I'm really worried for Stephen Hawking, 'cause how is he going to climb the stairway to Heaven?
Worst Jokes Ever
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trombone.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile, but what does she know? She's 7.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
What has a heart but no organs?
A deck of cards!
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
One cow asks another cow, "Are you afraid of mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why should I be? I'm a helicopter."
What's green and furry?
Fiona from Shrek.
A woman ran into a police station screaming, "Help, I have been graped!" The policeman said, "Do you mean raped?" The woman said, "No, there was a bunch of them!"
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
Why could the blind man not see?
Answer: Because he is blind.
Yeah, I keep telling everyone 9/11 jokes, but they all just crash and burn.
How did Steven Hawking die?
His wife needed a charger and plugged him out.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
Mr. Bunler.