Worst Jokes Ever
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Well, the "HOLE" story is, I shoved it up her hole.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
You know the sport that Mexicans are good at?
Cross-country.
My wife's dyslexic, but hey, nobody's perfect.
Religion... That is all.
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
Why is April the smartest month?
It can never be fooled.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
What did Allah say when he created the universe?
-Allahu akbar!!!
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
Flat Earthers
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.