Worst Jokes Ever
We should enjoy the present while it's here. Do you know why they call it the present? Because it's a gift.
I told a chemistry joke once.
There was no reaction.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
Lee Bryan
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
Ring ring.
Abortion clinic!
Where no fetus can beat us.
If your girl smells like tilapia, don’t let her on top of ya.
What kind of punch hurts a kid the most?
A sandy hook.
louie
What do you call someone that looks like Stephen Hawkins and is a space head? Byron Davey.
"Rueben Glover is a Steven Hawking spastic."
If a cat hits you with her tail, is it considered being pussy whipped?
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
Anyone know how to get an A on the "An Inspector Calls" section of the GCSE paper?
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
God made Adam and Eve.
Satan made Adam and Steve.
Stephen Hawking died because he got unplugged from his Ethernet cord.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
Pacman