Worst Jokes Ever
Why does the Sun go to school?
To get brighter!
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.
Her boyfriend said "Hi."
I said, "Knife to meet you!"
What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.
It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
Lachlan
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.