Worst Jokes Ever
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
What did the bus say to the other bus?
"Beep!"
What's yellow and can't swim?
Georgie.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thought NASA is a gaming program!
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
Johnny Johnny?
Yes pa pa.
Eating sugar?
Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
A mushroom walks into a bar and tries to hit on a blonde. When she turns him down, he goes to her and says, "C'mon, I'm a fun guy!"
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
What do you say after you go out for middle eastern food? I falafel (feel awful)!
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
Hi. I am Joe.
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
Cao ni man sha bi lalla shabi.
I have friends.
Boggy
I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
What's the laziest mountain?
Mount Ever-rest.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?
Continental Drift.