What goes up must come down, apart from Mr. Vyse.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a convict in prison for touching little girls? A boy named Brandon.
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
What is the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits for a boy to turn twelve before it comes on his face.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Poop.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack!
Myles Parfitt ;/
What's the difference between Andy and acne?
Acne waited until Adam could talk before coming on his face.
What's Adam's biggest fear?
Andy with a belt.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!
9/11.
If Stephen Hawking had a FIFA card, he would have 99 dribbling.