Worst Jokes Ever
You're do annoying like your fucked up hairline.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Disabled.
God: Ok, so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look from being born to preteen.
Satan: (slides in) I’ll take over for you, pops.
God: I dunno... this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system.
Satan: Don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18!
God: Hmm... I’m still not- (Gets a call on his phone) Shoot, I got to take this. (Answers call) Don’t touch anything, Lucifer! (Walks away)
Satan:.......(just touches lightly, and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away)
God: (rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?!
God: (tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) Fuck me........
God:....(sighs) Fine, it’ll stay. We’ll just call it....puberty.
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
Why did the egg cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to be scrambled!
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
Life is all that matters.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
I was eating my cereal while watching the news, then I saw my cereal on the news, saying he was a "serial" killer.
Superman was flying one day when he saw Wonder Woman laying by the pool completely naked. He thought, "I can fuck her so fast she wouldn't even know what happened." So he then flew down to the pool and did fuck her.
Wonder Woman stood up and said, "What was that?" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole stinks!"
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
Yo mama so fat, when Santa Claus went down the chimney, he said, "Ho, ho, hooooly sh*t!"
Heil Kyle!
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.