Worst Jokes Ever
Women are like grenades: you pull the ring and BOOM, the house is gone!
I used to work at a candlestick factory, but only on the wickends! It was illuminating!
The granddaughter wanted to see granny. She killed herself.
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
Your face is a joke.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
What does DNA stand for?
National Dyslexic Association.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds.
I like to eat mom's spaghetti. Now try it with the NEWWWW VEGETTIIII, turn any vegetable into pasta!
Adam and Eve had sex. It was paradise.
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
Poopy loopy.
How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
The reason Stephen Hawking died is because he drove too far away from the wall; the cord unplugged.
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
Where did Sally go during the summer? Swimming.
Ur mom, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I have no friends :'(
Tombstone engraving: "I TOLD you I was sick!"