What do you call a dog magician?
Labracadabrador!
Worst Jokes Ever
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
What did the baritone say to the alto?
Nothing, you couldn’t hear him.
A redneck and a Black man walk into a bar and order a drink.
What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?
The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him 50 cents to eat 200 balls.
The Homo Sexual was a direct descendant of the Homo Genital Erectus, which went extinct in 2037 for being easily offended and its unwillingness to breed.
What is so similar about a concrete block and a garden?
They both make vegetables.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
What's the difference between a dead baby in a dumpster and a treasure chest? It's a surprise when you find the treasure.
A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."
Guess who I saw at school today?
Everyone I looked at. loooooooool
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
Yo mama is so ugly, the sunglasses walked away.
Trump.
What do you call a blonde?
A piss-head.
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*