Worst Jokes Ever

What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.

What do you call a clock on a belt?

A waist of time.

How did I kill Georgee?

I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call a girl that likes reading? Page.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.

Did you know that the shovel was a groundbreaking invention?

Loser.

A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"

Dad: "Because I’m gay."

*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*

Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"

Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."

The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."

Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"

Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"

Son: "But it was a nightmare..."

*Dad turns into a monster*

Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"

The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.

The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.

What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?

The steering wheel.

What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?

A spicket fence!

I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.

Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?

She had no arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Not Sally.

A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.

A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."

Bully: You're gonna die.

Me: Hurry up then.

What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?

You can’t abuse an alligator.

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"