Worst Jokes Ever
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
Ariana Grande
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
What does America say?
A-marry-ca!
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
I would make a clock joke, but I don't have time.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.
"Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.
"What is it?" The doctor asks.
"I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.
". . . That's because I amputated your arms."
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
My neighbor is like my marriage. They're both in the hole.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn't she get up?
She had no friends.
Knock Knock (Who's there?)
Not Sally...
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.