A man walked into a fleshlight and died.
Worst Jokes Ever
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
Gay shit.
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
PhashaunAnimationz
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!
A mother and her 7 year old child are walking in the grocery store. The young boy then screams to a random woman “you're an ugly bitch.”
The mother grabs her son and says, “I’m so sorry, I must have told him a thousand of times to not judge people on how they look."
Why did the Indian cross the road?
To run away from the Pakistani.
Don't trust atoms, they make up everything!
My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"
Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What did Sarah get for Christmas? I dunno, she hasn't opened it yet.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
"Highway to Hell."
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”