Worst Jokes Ever
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
Can I get a glass of water? I will give you anything you ask.
Really, then give me a pond of water.
My friend said onions only cry, so that's why I threw a coconut at him.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
What do you call a hillbilly girl who's faster than her brothers?
A redneck virgin.
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Duh!"
Ya mums, ya dad.
What's the fastest way to Shepherd's Bush?
Up Shepherd's leg.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Esteban.
Esteban who?
If you do not open the door, Esteban you!
How do you fit 1000 babies in a swimming pool?
A blender.
How do you get them out? Slurp them up with a straw.
Anal.
The bigger your shoe size is, the bigger your penis is.
The smaller your shoe size, the smaller your penis is.
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends, how hard can you throw them?
I’m friends with 25 letters. I don’t know y!
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waste of time.
I can tell why the Founding Fathers adopted the Constitution, because nobody likes it.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
He couldn’t climb the stairway.