Worst Jokes Ever
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What do inner city schools and databases have in common?
Their problems are usually caused by a race condition.
Why do Pirates say "Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"?
First time out at sea, they prepare for battle and say to their commander:
"The canons be ready, Captain!"
"Are," says the Captain (correcting their grammar).
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!" they all exclaimed!
Can I tell you a cat joke?
Yes, 'cause it's purr-fect.
What do Jim Kelly and Dick Cheney have in common?
They both make terrible hunters.
What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 2 feet?
The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What do you tell a dead metal fan?
Rust in peace.
Why did the family move away?
Because they lost their son.
How do you close a cabinet?
You closet! Hahahhyaahhahaaahhahaha!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Robin.
Robin who?
Robin you, that is who.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Why do they have air conditioning in hospitals?
To keep all the vegetables fresh.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
An Irishman walked past a bar.