Worst Jokes Ever
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What is more dangerous than Russian gangs?
Russian malls.
Conor's life.
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
How do you make a cat go "woof"?
... douse it in gasoline and set it on fire! "woof!"
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starts, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus, you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.
"Who am I?"
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
Why did the child cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A violin has "strings" and a fiddle has "strangs."