What do Stephen Hawking and the Wicked Witch have in common?
If you throw water over them, they both die...
Worst Jokes Ever
What is the difference between an ISIS training camp and a school?
Don't ask me, I just fly the drone.
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill?
Running, JK rolling!
Angus' love life.
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
How do skeletons talk to each other? By the telebone.
You're gay.
Your family.
What's the difference between Fortnite and PUBG?
I don't know.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
My friends say they don’t like my skeleton puns.
I should put a little more backbone into them.
Dark humor is like kids with cancer; they never get old.
His life.
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"