Worst Jokes Ever
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
Sally fell off the swing. How did she fall off?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
A depressed man was caught on top of the Empire State Building with marijuana. Needless to say, he didn't want to come down.
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
One time I saw a manatee all spray painted to look like a tiger. Needless to say, the first thing I yelled was, "OH! THE HUMANATEE!"
So a blind guy walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
No, I don't want to.
A blonde texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: "Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and gently tap edges with hammer."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now."
Daniel takes his frustrations out on Shaenaya and his sexual frustrations out on Arunima.
Shaenaya hates me, help! And she wants to suck off ******* and ****** and ***** and *****.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, and a chair, and a table, and a wall.
Hmmm.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
Yo mamma so stupid when a robber stole her TV, she ran after him saying, "You forgot the remote!"
Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.
Person:
Guy: You walk into a bar.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You meet a girl.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: You guys go on a bed.
Person: I'm a man.
Guy: She whispers into your ear...
Person: I'm a man!