My friend's life.
Worst Jokes Ever
I put the D in Children.
A 90 year old man takes a Viagra.
Strips off naked, lies down in an alley way. Three chicks walk on by: a blond, a brunette, and a red head.
The red head said, "I'm not letting that go to waste," so she strips off and rides him. When she's finished,
The brunette then strips off naked and rides him. The blond's now worried because she just got her period. The red head sez, "He's dead. Don't let it go to waste," so she strips off naked and rides him. Then he wakes up. He then says, "Wow, two jump starts and a blood transfusion. I'm good to go!"
What's the best thing about 28 year olds?
There's 20 of them.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
Dracula was invited to a BBQ. He got stake.
I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.
The reason why Steven H. died was that someone poisoned his chocolate mousse.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
Why is Lani Jesus? Go die.
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*
I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.