Worst Jokes Ever
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
Two lawyers are sitting on a park bench, and these two beautiful women walk by. The first lawyer says to the other, “Let’s go fuck these chicks.”
The second lawyer says, “Outta what?”
What's the difference between an ISIS militant base and a Pakistani children's school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
How do you know your baby is dead?
It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.
I like my humor like my people. Well done.
I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?
Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.