You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
Worst Jokes Ever
Charlotte looks like a sperm.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... J.K. Rowling.
What’s brown?
Idk.
Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"
Wanking.
A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"
The woman replies, "No, why?"
The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
What’s worse than giving women rights?
Having them. In the first place.
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
I lick cows for my mother.
There's an old lady doing gardening every year. Nothing grows. She goes to the man who lives next door. She says, "How do you get your tomatoes so big and red?" He tells her, "You show them your privates at night time." So she leaves. That night later, she goes outside and shows the garden her privates. The next day she's got zucchinis a meter long!
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Aarghraawa."
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
What do you call a retarded duck?
Fuck duck and lick my balls.