Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
Worst Jokes Ever
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... "How many fingers am I holding up?"
Who am I sitting next to?
Your mom gay.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
"Nahtzee"
Come on guys, it's not nice to make fun of autism. I mean really, the Riot devs try their best, but just because they have autism does not mean you can make fun of them. Make fun of them for something else, like their Down syndrome.
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?
Because he's dead.
What is Jay?
Phat.
What died on 9/11?
2,996 people.
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
Stephen Hawking died because his wheelchair couldn’t run Windows 10.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows. No body, nose.
How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, cause they'll screw anything.
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
What's the difference between all the jokes on this page? Nothing, they're all knockoffs of old jokes you've already heard that aren't funny. Penis!
A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him. Everyone else in the room stops to listen:
Man: Hello? Woman: Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man: Yes. Woman: I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man: Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman: I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man: How much? Woman: $90,000. Man: Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman: Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man: I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman: OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man: I love you to.
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
The man turns around and says: “Anyone know whose phone this is?”