Worst Jokes Ever
My Butterfingers slipped.
You can always bully an orphan. Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
Science took us to the moon, and religion took us into a skyscraper.
This is not a joke.
I like tacos more than you like tacos.
Who likes more tacos?
Mee! said the taco.
I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
Why did the Ice Cube complain about being so warm? Because he was dropped on the floor.
Why did Jimmy throw the clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who knife-raped his wife.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?
I was really rooting to tell that one.
Some of the best comedians mimic people. I mimic my shadow.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.
I had a fun funeral / birthday.
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
Q: How do you get 10 babies in a trashcan?
A: With a blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.