Worst Jokes Ever
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
Yo mama so fat, she is fat!
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
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What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Lil Johnny looked a lil bonny, but then when he saw Tommy, he decided to bomb me.
Why were the Twin Towers knocked over? Chuck Norris was leaning on one of them.
Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?
A: Look in a mirror.
I'm psychicking your butt.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."