Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?

Aliens vs. Predator

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    • Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.

    Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."

    So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"

    A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."

    I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

    A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”

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    • Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?

    Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.

    Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.

    Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."

    "If all of these structures break we will all die."

    And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

    And he said, "It would be breaking news."

    Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.

    Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.

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