Worst Jokes Ever
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Why could the zombie not clap? Because it was dead, duh!
Why can't two Asians have a white baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two ;)
If a sped is late for class, is it wrong to call them tardy?
I fucked the shit outta of my friend's mom with my 8 inch dick (Adrian). PS. Sorry, Adrian!
Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.
LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
Why did the sperm cross the road? To get to the vagina!
Ali-A
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Son: “Mom, is there a thing called «friendship» between a man and a woman?”
Mother: “No Son, unless if he’s gay.”
Son: “So your friend is gay?”
Mother with herself: «How did he see me with michael omg if my husband discovered my cheating he will kill me»
Mother: “Mmm.. Yes.”
Father loudly: “YES!!!”
Mother: “What in the hell? Are you gay?”
Father with himself: «Am i an idiot why did i yell?! if she discovered I’m gay and her son was made by Paul’s semens she will kill me»
Father: “No what are saying? I’m just talking with myself.”
*A few hours later*
Mother: “I will go to visit my mother.”
Father: “Me too I will go to visit my mother.”
Son: “Not me too I will go to stud with my friends.”
The mother and the father goes to michael’s house and they found their son playing with Michael and Paul is recording them and saying: «that’s why I love you my actual son oh only if your mother knows».
*The End* :D
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
Time is like a machine, it slows down when beaten.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!