Worst Jokes Ever
Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?
Don’t worry, he didn’t either.
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
Yo mama so fat! When she jumps into a pool, NASA found water on Mars!
Walking's a chore, let alone crawling.
What did the plug hole say to the plug? "We are so in sync."
Why can't dinosaurs talk?
Because they are all dead.
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."
And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
My life, lmao.
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
This is funny.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminists can change anything?
"Puta, banana in your ear!"
Two men walk into a bar, and they both hit their heads.
Tuxedos suit you.
I wanna go to Antarctica, but then I got cold feet.
A family of three, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games.” Says the mom.
“You’re right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom.” Says the son.
“The lie isn’t that you’re adopted,” says the dad.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
What is dumb, yo mama, you dumb stupid idiot?