Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!
Why should you never fart in an Apple store?
Because they have no Windows!
Roses are red, violets are violet.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.
Muslims don't need weed, they've got the Koran.
You burn that sh*t and you're gonna get stoned.
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
I would tell you a chemistry pun, but I won't get a reaction.
What’s the difference between a teenage girl and a cat? One’s a psycho and the other is a cat.
Where did Sally go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Yo mama so stupid... She tried to climb...
Mountain Dew!
What is the one spray that can kill midgets? Bug spray.
What is the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
What do you call a mosquito in your language?
We don't call them, they just come and bite.
Abortion is not a joke.
If drinking alcohol makes you an alcoholic, does drinking Fanta make you fantastic?
Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?
These are some of the greatest names ever: Dixie Normous, Dixie Rekt, Ka Monmi, Ice Wallow Kum, Dick Sinsider, Anita Biggerman.