
Worst Jokes Ever
A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
bröd
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
Canada has free health care, here is a link to some Canada Facts! https://www.1stcontact.com/blog/20-interesting-facts-about-canada
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.
9/11 joke.
"Are you related to Yoda?"
"Because yo-delicious!"
How does Hitler tie his shoes?
Into little Nazis.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens didn't exist then.
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see his friend.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
A robber robbed a bank and ran into the road and got hit by a car.
The cops said to him, "That's CARma for you!"
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
There are three men walking down the road, and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm, there is a cow, a monkey, and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money, and the farm is going out of business.
One of the men sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest, but the cow is so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle, it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them suggested that they put a cork up the cow's behind. The first guy says, "Okay, then go put a cork there."
"I don't want to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it." And the monkey puts the cork in the cow's behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm.
The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of the cow. "Guys, we need to take the cork out of the cow," he says.
"Well, I'm not going to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it again." So the monkey uncorks the cow, and there was a huge explosion. A few days later, the three men wake up in the hospital.
The doctor walks up to the first man and asks, "What happened?"
The first man replies, "All I remember is that horrible sound."
The doctor walks up to the second man and asks, "What happened?"
"All I remember is that horrible smell..."
The doctor walks up to the third man and again asks the same question. The third man looks at him and says, "All I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."