What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels! We'll see him soon.
Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so stupid, when I told her she needed some cats, she came back with...
CRASH, ARENA, TURBO STARS!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
What's longer than a penis?
About anything.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
A man shoots up a school and then fakes his own death. He then later returns to shoot up the same school. He repeats the process a few times until the police catch him. When they ask why he did it, he replied, "I wondered when you would check if I was still breathing."
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What did the man's dick say to the man?
I just can't "hand"le it!
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
Alec is bad at League?
Jokes, Jarid is, haha!
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
Asshole.
Ur mom gay, lol.
My dad died lol.