Worst Jokes Ever
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
Me: No one likes Shrek; he is just a fat green guy.
Friend: Hey! Stop talking about me.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
What do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
I like my coffee like my men, long and black.
Shaenaya likes goat dick.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
Yo mama so ugly, Bloody Mary handed her an application through the mirror.
Gaston gets the no-Belle prize! :D
How do you make a plumber cry?
Kill his whole family.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
"Wanna hear a joke?"
"Sure."
"You SURE will be glad when this dad joke's over."
"That was pretty DAD!"
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.