What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.
Worst Jokes Ever
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?
My friend asked me:
Friend: "How much is your body worth?"
Me: "1 million."
Friend: "1 million dollars?!"
Me: "No. 1 million kilograms."
Friend: "Oh."
Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What's a pedophile's favorite type of shoe?
White Vans.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Yo mama so fat, she doesn't need internet, because she's already WORLDWIDE!
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the iPod...
SHE MADE THE IPAD!!!!!!!
What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
Yo mama's so short, when it rains, she's the last to know!
Yo mama is so stupid, she had to retake preschool 20 times!
I was going to walk to Verizon, but I decided to Sprint over to T-Mobile instead.
What’s the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snow balls.