Worst Jokes Ever
What's meaner than taking candy from a baby?
Throwing the baby off a cliff.
A penguin walks into a bar. The bartender says, "So what will it be this time?" The penguin doesn't answer because it's a penguin.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, a Zippo is a little lighter.
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
Why is 8 afraid of 7 because 7 8 9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck?
Incest.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Snort poo poo.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
Ben Inkster, more like gay.