Worst Jokes Ever

what did the banana say to the banana?

"u look a-pealing"

Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?

Asgard.

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

Ghanshyam.

Lachlan's life.

A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

What do you call a pool full of retards?

Vegetable soup.

Jimmy: Your mom is gay.

Me: No, you.

Jimmy: I have no mom.

Why does the Sun go to school?

To get brighter!

If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?

So my ex invited me to dinner with her new boyfriend.

Her boyfriend said "Hi."

I said, "Knife to meet you!"

What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.

It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.

One hot day a cow wanted some shade.

He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."

What's red and in a corner?

A baby with a razor blade.

What's green and in a corner?

The same baby three weeks later.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"

To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"

Lachlan

Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"

I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.

What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.